life-sucks-and-I-need-to-cry group

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Comment by Maria Lena on November 20, 2010 at 11:55pm

i'm sorry that has happened to you. my loves me but doesn't know how to express. hes a very cold person though, very. my sister has come to visit. my father picked her up and dropped her off at home. my sister said it looked like he aged five years. hes doing some pretty bad things. i haven't seen him since september. i'm kind of depressed myself, i was on the borderline of comitting suide at one point, a few years back. it was very hard for me to live at that time but i'm starteing to get depressed again, its hard not to when i'm very lonely here. i've never cut myself but just to tell, don't it anymore because it will become a habit and its not a good one. it is sort of i guess a wasy of reliveing pain, but i've thought of doing but never did it. you could actulla hit a vein and that would be horrible. what if no one was in the house? my mom was afraid to leave me alone a few years back. maybe you should just write things down in noteboook to get things out. it might relieve the pain in a safer way. its just a thought. i'd love to give you a hug. i knoe how you feel, not getting any love from a father. my father treated my mom like crap, he treated like a slave. but she loved him, still does. its hard for her. she has to get over him, hes was abusive, never phyiscally but veribally. stay strong, i'm trying to be.

Comment by Marisa Tucson on November 20, 2010 at 8:40pm

thank you Sophia that makes me a little better :)

Comment by Sophia on November 20, 2010 at 8:11pm

@Marisa Tucson I'm sending you a e-hug! :0)

Comment by Marisa Tucson on November 20, 2010 at 12:31am

Oh my god I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. Sometimes I feel like excuse my language but sometimes I don't give a shit about anything anymore. I just found out my own dad doesn't love anymore don't think he even wants me at all that's ice cold! all this time I thought he loved me. maybe that's something I shouldn't have found out because it just about crushed my spirit inside of me. he wanted to get a test done to see if I was his daughter! he was really never a father figure to me just played pretend! again excuse my languange that son of a bitch! my mom asked how I felt when she told me this I said angrey, upset and most of all HURT! MY own Father! that drove me to fly off the handle like really bad I grabed a kitchen knife and made two cuts on my left and one on my right. I don't even know why I did it I guess just to make me feel better. for so long I have suffered from depression I'm so use to it it's normal to me now, dealing with family issues. at times I feel so misreable like my heart is breaking I've had thoughts where I think my family does not love me and I feel like I just want to cry myself to sleep. I feel like screaming and throwing things just to get everthing off my chest. sometimes my days just go upside down and I rather fall off a cliff right now. I don't care maybe love isn't good enough for me. maybe I just want a hug a good hug where I never want to let let them go. Can a person say " I can't live my life anymore"? because that's what I say sometimes I know someone who did suicide and it makes you think it it over but, I would never think of killing myself. I would just say I can't so this anymore,I can't do this anymore.when someone is dieing and they say " I can't live without you" because it is true it's really hard these days. maybe just need someone to listen. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy.
Here's something I wrote: There are those of us that don't have much company.we find things to do instead. As for our past we try and bury it deep within us. Our feelings are hard to detech. Though we are not alone there are many of us. There are those who will stay in the shadows maybe for centuries. And those of us that find the light. As for our secrets we hold it deep within our flesh. We will pen up to you if we want to. As for our conversations you shall find out. To gain our trust and yours you must find inside to understand. For we are more than just a person. We choose to talk only if we wish to. Maybe we'll find our happiness and our dreams and hpes will become whole again. Though we live sepreate lives we never come togather. Maybe some have gone crazy. For now we find sleep as the only comfert as we wait for another tomorrow.

Comment by miss tejota on November 9, 2010 at 8:26pm

I haven't been checking in like I should, but I hope all is well weith everyone.

Comment by Jennifer on November 3, 2010 at 9:41pm

Checking in on you all. Hoping everyone is doing well.

Comment by Marisa Tucson on August 26, 2010 at 5:06pm

ahhhHH! sucks to have a cold right now. been sneezing and blowing my nose since yesterday is driving me insane now I think I got my mom's boyfriend sick too. I want to get rid of this cold really bad! taking a nap right now to hopefully sleep it off. cuz I do not feel good right now. :(

Comment by Maria Lena on July 17, 2010 at 6:01pm

thank you... again.

Comment by Meenah on July 17, 2010 at 7:21am

Yes Lena, there is always someone around to chat with just to get things out of your system. It helps, I know that for sure. Take care :)

Comment by Marisa Tucson on July 17, 2010 at 2:30am

were always hear to listen Maria Lena

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